Life. Life. Isn't it repeated again and again in a routine? Some people learn to accept the same thing over and over again, but for me, since I began to grow older and older, I felt restless. It's like I want change, want something different, something magical to happen to me, yet nothing really significant ever does. Maybe it's my standards, is it too high? Too low? Too unrealistic? I've always been indecisive, but I'm trying to change that. Flaws flaws flaws.
I can't remember the last time I felt ecstatically happy. Maybe it was last summer, or no, year or years ago when there was some special people whom I felt bonded with. Maybe it was only ONE special person but nevertheless it's all in the past.
The past comes back to haunt me when I look at pictures, our old pictures, our old smiles and nights, gone and in the past. I treasure these photos, they are sometimes special to look at, great for when I'm feeling a little out of place, but I keep them in my computer, secretly, for my guilty pleasure. Do you, my dear reader, ever keep old pictures of yourself, when you were young, last year, 4 years ago, 10 years ago, in a folder in your laptop and look at them occasionally? And reminisce about the past? And laugh and tear up occasionally too?
***
I just feel soft, vulnerable... mellow somehow. I was sick and still am, and is due for a doctor's appointment which the unhelpful receptionist didn't give me until next week > < . I did snap a mellow picture recently though, which does reflect, in colors, how weird I've been feeling....
For some reason, I really like this picture. Maybe it's my still-favourite yellow cable knit sweater which you can see in my other outfit posts, or the just the colours really, which is yellow. Just in time for christmas and soft christmas lights, hey?
***
Song crush:
Coldplay - Paradise
I know how you feel. that feeling must bother so much.
ReplyDeletehope you will get better soon and cheer up again! :)
enjoy your weekend, dear!
i love coldplay!!! seriously have loved every song of their's. u look so cute, love the color of your sweater =]
ReplyDeleteget well soon sweety :)
ReplyDeletelove your pics btw <3
You look so pretty ^___^ why u so cute ? :3 haha typical Asian =P Ahhh, welcome to the cycle of life, it sucks. Hope you're having a good time in London :)
ReplyDeleteMaybe you just get the routine dailies on you and you just do it everyday without any significant 'enjoying moment' you pass.. Maybe you shall try to look for something different, do something you like out of the routine, and you will feel better! :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you get well soon. And you look gorgeous seriously! :D *hugs*
Lol boy do I know this feeling. I guess it's because I'm in the middle of a transition period (17 this year) Not exactly in high school not exactly in college. I'm in limbo. My life feels like it's in limbo too. It's going to pass I'm sure, I'll just look forward to that day.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should try something new and exciting? I dunno, write a book, travel by yourself (or with a special someone? Cough cough) All the best anyhoo =)
-cheers!
very pretty pic and i hope you feel better!
ReplyDeleteYep~ I was exercising on a gym station on the first floor on my apt but then I feel super lazy~ And I start to exercise by my own in my room. >:D If it's winter there, it isn't really suitable for exercise right? Haha :D Exercise during warm weather will be better. ^^
ReplyDeleteI will post more pics~ Thanks :D~ You too ok? Long to see your pictures <3
I love that picture of you! Wishing you some wonderful holiday time.
ReplyDeleteHope you are doing OK. Love your update!!
ReplyDeleteyou look so pretty too :)
ReplyDeleteI love that song from Coldplay!!
ReplyDeletehttp://lovelyprettyworld.blogspot.com/
Hope you feel better soon. You look lovely in yellow.
ReplyDelete♥ laura
the blog of worldly delights
I love Paradise!! :) Beautiful blog ;)
ReplyDeleteKiss
http://saporedimoda.blogspot.com/
You are so cute! And you are NOT getting old!!! :) Following you, hope you can check out mine too. :)
ReplyDeleteRomiya Fashion Inspiration Blog
I feel you andI completely understand what you're feeling :/ Life gets really frustrating sometimes, I'm in the state of mind where nothing really excites me, it' a constant standstill. But we'll get past this! Life goes on :) xxAnisa
ReplyDeletesopretty!
ReplyDeletepinklemonincrystal.blogspot.com
Aw you are so pretty. I don't keep photos no, but I suppose with things like facebook and having a blog for so long, occasionally I realise wow, I've changed so much since then! Hope you feel better about things soon!
ReplyDeletecute sweater <3 I can see you really love it. :)
ReplyDeleteguess what?! Im going to be in Hong Kong for winter break! Haha, maybe I'll see you...any suggestions for shopping there?
delicatelyfierce.blogspot.com
You look beautiful! Thanks for stopping by my blog:) Follow each other?
ReplyDeleteFashion Cat
www.myfashioncat.com
I'm obsessed with that song right now!!! love coldplay <3
ReplyDeleteaw i do that all the time! :P i have all my pics from like when i was 7 on my laptop and am always looking back at those good times :)
ReplyDeletekatslovefashion.blogspot.com
i quite like that song!
ReplyDeleteSometimes change takes time and goes a lot slower than first imagined. Just keep that fire for change burning. Even in the small steps you are on your way. Change is only unrealistic and unattainable when you've convinced yourself that it is. Oh, and change ain't always easy. It takes some serious effort and work! xo
ReplyDeleteHope you are having a good week. Love the picture of you!
ReplyDeleteYou seem to be such a happy person to me. What a wonderful smile you have. All the best during the holidays!
ReplyDeleteI know how you're feeling, but I'm glad you're feeling a little better now. :)
ReplyDeletexo, Samantha
http://theadventuresoftwosams.blogspot.com/
Sometimes, as human beings, we are never content with what we have. We look at an old photo and think about how good it used it to be. But, the truth is that there were struggles back then too. I believe that there is good and bad in every moment of our lives. I want to enjoy the moment and appreciate what I have... I think we all should ;)
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your Sunday!!
http://ladyonaroof.blogspot.com/
I feel like this a lot at certain times. I love making new friends and new memories. I like bringing new and old friends together, going to new places.
ReplyDeletei hope you feel better soon. xx
ReplyDeleteI like reading this post! I do keep my old pictures and look at them sometimes. :)
ReplyDeleteI love coldplay and that song <3 You look pretty!
ReplyDeleteyou are always so pretty <3
ReplyDeletedemm at first sight i tot this girl got fever that why the smile look not sincerity. After look at picture over and over again lol this girl is pretty
ReplyDeleteAmazing pics dear!
ReplyDeleteevery week hun.
ReplyDeletei always go back to the albums
look how ppl change, how i changed
and jst before you know it, sometimes tears come falling down
like u said the past is the past
we should focus on the presence now :)
i hope you feel better soon hun <3
xx
- Coco
Hello dear.
ReplyDeleteYup, I have albums of my childhood in my house, not in my apt though. Everytime my mama give me a call, she told me how I was like when I was child, and it brings me tears. I guess that's normal right? :)
great post...i heard this song and i love this song.
ReplyDeleteMi_Mi
x
mi-miworld.blogspot.com/